I am have been searching off & on forever it seems for my b-daughter. She was born March 25, 1975 in Lawrenceburg, Indiana at Dearborn County Hospital. I do not have any particulars on the birth. The adoption was handled through the LDS Social Services / Mormon church.

The hospital's policy at that time was that I would not even know what I had. After a fit of hysterics I was allowed to see her...she was pink and so beautiful. Her fingers were long and so were her legs and toes. Her hair was thick and dark. I soaked in every second of that 15 minutes and prayed that someday she would understand and forgive me for "giving her away".

I was discharged that day only to come back days later to sign the final papers. The most heartbreaking moment in my life was having them hand her to me inside the hospital, carry her outside the doors to hand her to strangers and say goodbye. They drove the same roads we did on our way out of town. The dark dreary weather seemed appropriate at the time. The rain poured as heavily as my tears that day.

I understand that the adoption was finalized in the state of Virginia, and I know nothing else. Every registry I have come across has my information and/or story. Since there has been no connection, I have wondered if she even knew she was adopted. Many stories I've read tell of the fears and anxieties adoptees and birth parents experience; the fear of rejection or anger, maybe embarrassment and shame. The one common thread is always love... to know that b-moms do this out of love for their child and the desire to give them a family that completes their needs and wants and dreams.

On that rainy day in April, I handed her over to another life to be completed by others. I pray that is the one thing in my life I have done right.

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