On March 2, 1982 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in Phoenix, AZ. I had turned 16 years old four weeks before his birth. My own mother had died 2 years before, and my father had kicked me out of his house. I was living with a friend's family at the time I gave birth. I wanted to finish high school; I didn't want to raise a child on welfare. I also could not ask my friend's family to help me raise this child.

It was the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life, but I have always known that it was the right decision. I was able to weigh the pros and cons of my situation and came to the answer that was best all around. I have always felt it was right. My OB doctor had some friends that wanted to adopt a child. I was told that they were a loving couple and would give my son a good home. That is what I wanted for my child, because I knew that I could not offer him the chance for a good life at that point in my life.

Twenty-one years later, I now have a decent life that I am proud of. I had to work long and hard to get to where I am now. I had 2 more boys that are now teenagers. They have known, from the time they were old enough to understand, that they have an older brother that I had given up for adoption.

Over the years I have hoped and prayed that someday my son will find me. I have vowed to give him the time to decide if finding me is something he wants to do. If by the time he is 25-30 he has not found me, I will begin a vigilant search for him. I just want to know that he is well, and find out if he has had a good life. I do not want to interfere in his life; I do not want to intrude unless he wants me to be a part of his life. Then I will be there for him in any capacity he would like me to be.

I hope that his parents understand this and do not worry about me trying to push myself into his life. I love my son and gave him up for adoption because of that love. He is my first born and will always hold a special place in my heart, even if he doesn't want me to be in his life.

The adoption took place in Phoenix, Arizona. The adoption files were supposed to be filed as open so that when my son is 21 he would be able to get distinguishing information on me. The address and phone number where I was living at the time still belong to the family I was living with. They know how to contact me. So, if he ever wants to find me it will be very easy. My son was born on March 2, 1982, and I gave him the name Anthony Lee Parker. I am not sure if that name will appear on the original birth certificate or not.

If any of this information looks familiar to anyone reading it I hope they will contact me. My email address is swfunnurse@aol.com.

© 2003