Choosing an Adoption Agency

Information You Should Consider

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When choosing an agency make it a priority to know who the birthmother counselor is, what qualifications she has, and whether or not she is also the adoptive parents counselor. Don't find yourself in a situation where the "birthmother counselor" is really just a caseworker working for both you and the adopting parents. You should be given at least four counseling sessions with the bmom counselor before you even look at parent profiles. In those sessions you should also be made aware of parenting options and resources. This counselor should make sure you have been made fully aware of parenting.

· Full disclosure of legal process and rights.

When you are told about the adoption process and what rights you have, be assertive. Ask for documentation, copies of paperwork, and always, always ask to speak with their representing attorney just to make sure you've received all the information. Know your terms! Know what paperwork you will be required to sign, when you will have to sign it, and Exactly what it means. Don't be caught not knowing the most important aspects of your relinquishment process.

· Access to all parent profiles.

Most agencies present you with no more than five profiles. This is because they have sorted through their waiting families based on your specific requests and are giving you those profiles they think will match. This is a great way to keep you from feeling overwhelmed, but there is also a catch. You may be seeing profiles that are not necessarily a "match" for you but rather are profiles that have higher priority than others. You may also find yourself in a biased situation. You should have total control over which profiles you see and how many. It is good to compare a broad variety of waiting families. Once you are ready to look at profiles we suggest you visit http://www.parentprofiles.com Even if you have an adoption agency, you still have every right to view waiting families from other sources. Many waiting families on parentprofiles.com are utilizing adoption agencies and you may find several from your very own agency that you were not shown.

· Pre and Post Placement Support Group.

You may not feel that you need a support group before or after your placement. Many birthmothers feel this way initially. Yet, these same birthmothers also later regretted not taking advantage of it. Putting everything into place before your relinquishment doesn't hurt anything. It is better to have it available, even if you don't need it at the present time, rather than not having it when you need it. Another sign of a good agency who really cares about its birthmothers is that they do in fact have support groups in place. Ask them who runs the groups, how often they meet, who attends the groups, how long they have been running, and what the average length is. Also, ask them what materials are used in their support groups. The books they use are also a sign of how much they know about what you are going through, and how much they care about your emotional health.

· Medical Expenses Paid.

You may be asked to apply for state or county medical assistance if you do not have medical insurance yourself or through your parents. If so, before you do this you must realize that you will not be receiving the type of medical attention that you would if you were not on assistance. Know that you DO NOT have to be on this assistance. You have every right to receive privately funded medical care in any of the hospitals/doctor's offices of your choice. The reason you may be asked to apply for this medical assistance is to save the adopting family money. While adoption is costly, don't risk your health to save them money. You also want the BEST that is available especially when it is time to deliver. You deserve a nice delivery room with a good staff and all the benefits that come to new mothers. Get ALL of your medical agreements in WRITING. Make sure you've made arrangements to have not only all of your prenatal care paid for, but the delivery and post-delivery expenses as well. Vitamins, prescriptions, check ups, and also include an addendum that requires their payment for any unforeseen medical expenses due to your delivery and physical recovery after your hospital stay.

· Opportunity to meet Director, Counselors, and Mediators.

Simply put, these people are in charge of possibly the largest and most important decision you will ever make in your life. Know them. Interview them. Ask them personal questions. Why are they in this job field? What do they plan on providing you with? How do they foresee their relationship with you? Don't find yourself in a situation six or twelve months after placement having to explain to the agency who you are as you ask them why you haven't received pictures and letters or why they haven't contacted you for follow up.

· Full disclosure of Types of Adoption.

Know your adoption like the back of your hand. Don't be manipulated into receiving less than you want. Do your research. Ask questions. Write it out so you can understand it. This is the very thing you will survive on in the years to come. Don't underestimate its value. There is a difference between open and semi-open. A huge one. Visit http://www.birthparents.org to read up on "Know Your Type" information on different adoption agreements.

· You are Not Obligated to them.

They are offering you a service. If at any time they do not offer that service in ways that you need, or if at any time you feel they are not respecting, listening, or caring for you: Leave. There are many agencies that do operate with respect and concern for their birthmothers. Don't settle for less. If you are feeling intimidated or frightened and are un-able to voice your concerns or feel that you will be treated badly if you leave for another agency, get help. But above all, remember ... this experience will be with you for the rest of your life. Make it the best you can. Stand up for yourself. Know your needs.